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Written on July 19th, 2010 by | 42 Comments

The Cult of Social Media

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The Cult of Social Media

Five Social Media Mantra that We All Know and Love:

As I read the popular Social Media Mantra every day there are five recurring themes that are always popping up. So I thought I would share them with you today so that we may all be enlightened. I hope this helps you as much as it has helped me to unravel the mysteries of social networking.

  1. First and foremost, you must be a mindless drone (a very simple but important concept to understand from which all others will follow). I don’t mean that in a negative way (of course) but it sure helps in getting along, don’t you think.
  2. Always be nice and polite no matter what. Show us that smiley face, put your best foot forward and remember, don’t worry .. be happy.
  3. Even if you feel like crap or can’t stand your online friends, please keep it to yourself because we don’t want any negativism here. There is a zero tolerance policy for bad attitudes and you will be weeded out with extreme prejudice. Remember — snark is bad, so beware.
  4. Never (ever) contradict your betters or you will be shunned. By your “betters” I mean your social media mentors whom you  suck up to  adore and hope to get their attention. After all, they know ‘better’ don’t they. (Yes, it is rhetorical.)
  5. Pay homage to your Guru (perhaps the most important social media mantra of all). Give him or her your unconditional love and support because after all, they are your gravy train (or at least you hope they will be).
Or like the ancient sage once said, “don’t bite the hand that feeds“. That’s food for thought (no pun intended). Sound familiar?

So won’t you please join my  cult  um, social network. I promise not to lord it over you … too much.

Thanks, from your friendly neighborhood guru (hint) BLOGBloke.  ;-) Have I missed anything? I know .. I’m bad.

Disclaimer: I shouldn’t have to mention this but for those who have thin skins please note this post is from the BLOGBloke satire category. So don’t be offended. It’s meant to be fun and remember the spirit in which it is intended. Thanks, and I do hope you enjoy it as much as I did writing it.

Filed under: Blog Tips, Favourite Blog Tips, Featured Articles, Social Media Tips humor, satire, social networking

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There are 42 Comments so far to “The Cult of Social Media”

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  1. LOL !!!

    Like all great Gurus, beneath the humour there are a lot of truisms there. Keep it up oh teacher of all things social.

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    Reply by: BLOGBloke at 10:44 pm said...

    @DaveyBoy .. I shall my son. Stay on the path to social media righteousness and all of your hopes and desires will surely come to pass.

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  2. In other words be more sociable than usual and too damn nice.

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    Reply by: BLOGBloke at 10:50 pm said...

    @OnlineMarketingExpert, you sound like a nonbeliever. Do you have something more you wish to get off your chest? Like some juicy morsels of gossip perhaps.

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  3. I have broke about 3 of these rules. Have had attitude on many social sites. Can I still be in your cult,,, er Social Network?

    Well at least I’m honest!

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    Reply by: BLOGBloke at 12:21 pm said...

    @Curtis, if thinking for yourself is attitude then attitude is what separates Blokesters from the crowd. Congratulations … you’re in!

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    Reply by: Curtis at 12:13 am said...

    @BLOGBloke, Yes!!! Woo Yeah!

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  4. And what do you do if you don’t have a guru? Frankly, I don’t like that last one, no matter who it might be, because no one’s ideas are perfect. However, I tend to believe that a lot of social media talk is pretty similar and thus one would have to be trying to go out of their way to be something different or controversial.

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    Reply by: BLOGBloke at 8:54 pm said...

    @Mitch_M, you’ve got an attitude problem. You must be a Blokester. :-)

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  5. Well i like all your post but still for those who are negative I can’t tolerate those senseless guys. whereas about the guru I niether considered my self guru nor i want to make any guru so what should i do at this step ?

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    Reply by: BLOGBloke at 6:14 pm said...

    @jennifer duncan, don’t worry .. be happy :-)

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  6. @BLOGBlokeTips I live my Popeye dreams; I am what I am!

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  7. Thanks Bloke - we ALL could use more humor in this business. Being a first-year Social Scientist myself, it pleases me to no end to help an up and comer or share an answer with someone searching for information I have researched specifically in one of the “expert’s” blogs. Looking forward to reading you.

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    Reply by: BLOGBloke at 6:15 pm said...

    @Connie .. Re: “experts”. Anybody I know? ;-)

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  8. Nice to remind that we cannot do this stuff if we don’t have a guru at all. :)

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  9. NEW POST: Five Social Media Mantra We All Know and Love http://bit.ly/9EwzBE

  10. […] The Cult of Social Media blogbloke.com/social-media-mantra-cult/ – view page – cached Tweets about this link […]

  11. The Cult of Social Media http://bit.ly/azOrxD

  12. I've been busy (and naughty again). Hope you will check it out http://bit.ly/azOrxD .. http://bit.ly/dk5Kfs

  13. @DaveyBoy .. I shall my son. Stay on the path to social media righteousness and all of your hopes and desires will … http://bit.ly/9XznEF

  14. @OnlineMarketingExpert, you sound like a nonbeliever. Do you have something more you wish to get off your ch… http://bit.ly/9XznEF

  15. The Cult of Social Media: Five Social Media Mantra that We All Know and Love http://bit.ly/azOrxD

  16. RT @BlogBlokeTips - The Cult of Social Media: Five Social Media Mantra that We All Know and Love http://bit.ly/azOrxD

  17. RT @mycrowdca The Cult of Social Media: Five Social Media Mantra that We All Know and Love http://bit.ly/azOrxD

  18. RT @StrongRTs The Cult of Social Media: Five Social Media Mantra that We All Know and Love http://bit.ly/azOrxD

  19. @Curtis, attitude is what separates Blokesters from the crowd. Congratulations … you're in! http://bit.ly/9XznEF

  20. And what do you do if you don't have a guru? Frankly, I don't like that last one, no matter who it might be, becau… http://bit.ly/9XznEF

  21. @Mitch_M , you've got an attitude problem. You must be a Blokester. :-) http://bit.ly/9XznEF

  22. Five Social Media Mantra that We All Know and Love: http://ki.am/a8wxh4 *this is so stellar! :)

  23. RT @iamkhayyam Five Social Media Mantra that We All Know and Love: http://ki.am/a8wxh4 *this is so stellar! :)

  24. RT @iamkhayyam: Five Social Media Mantra that We All Know and Love: http://ki.am/a8wxh4 *this is so stellar! :)

  25. Not sure i agree with #drone RT @iamkhayyam: Five Social Media Mantra that We All Know and Love: http://ki.am/a8wxh4 *this is so stellar! :)

  26. RT @iamkhayyam: Five Social Media Mantras that We All Know and Love: http://ki.am/a8wxh4 *this is so stellar! :) (cc: @so_you_know )

  27. AND i break a lot of these! RT @loripop326: RT @iamkhayyam: 5 Social Media Mantras We All Know & Love: http://ki.am/a8wxh4 *so stellar! :)

  28. Five Social Media Mantra that We All Know and Love: As I read the popular Social Media Mantra every day there are … http://bit.ly/bFXnpr

  29. @randomleespoken @iamkhayyam @loripop326 @so_you_know - Social Media Mantras We All Know & Love http://ki.am/a8wxh4 Thank y'all for the RT!

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  31. Reading: "The Cult of Social Media" or "Five Social Media Mantra that We All Know & Love" - http://bit.ly/b3KRCt c/o @iamkhayyam <– Ha! :)

  32. @jennifer duncan, don't worry .. be happy :-) http://bit.ly/9XznEF

  33. @Connie .. Re: "experts". Anybody I know? ;-) http://bit.ly/9XznEF

  34. The Cult of Social Media: Five Social Media Mantra that We All Know and Love http://t.co/iS5wciCa via @BLOGBloke

  35. The Cult of Social Media: Five Social Media Mantra that We All Know and Love http://t.co/iS5wciCa

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