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Greatest Lies in the World

I thought you might like this list that I stumbled upon (with a few embellishments by yours truly).

  • The check’s in the mail.
  • I’m from the government and I’m here to help you.
  • I thought I already gave you the money I owed you.
  • But I’ve never been this drunk before.
  • But I really, really do love you.
  • You don’t need to use a condom; I’m on the Pill.
  • I don’t need to use a condom; I’ve had a vasectomy and tested negative for STDs.
  • We’ll have the repairs on your car done by noon.
  • Operator, my calling card number is…
  • You look like you haven’t aged a day.
  • No, I don’t think that outfit makes you look fat.
  • This is what it will cost to repair your car.
  • If elected, I promise…
  • You’re going to love working here.
  • I don’t know what you’re talking about.
  • Nine out of ten people surveyed said…
  • Please hold, and a customer service representative will be with you shortly.
  • I’ll only take a minute of your time.
  • !!Make Money Fast!!
  • Lose all the weight you want!
  • I’m being totally unbiased.
  • I promise I’ll pull out in time.
  • With all due respect…
  • For your convenience…
  • In order to serve you better…
  • I’m planning to get a divorce so I can marry you.
  • I’ll call you.
  • My wife (husband) is okay with me seeing other people; s/he just doesn’t want to know about it.
  • I’m not leaving you for him/her; I just need some space to think things through.
  • This will only hurt a little.
  • This will hurt me more than it does you.
  • I’m doing this for your own good.
  • It’s only for a little while…
  • I didn’t mean any harm.
  • Oh well, no harm done…
  • It was an accident.
  • I didn’t do it.
  • I don’t know who did it.
  • We are experiencing a peak level of call volume…
  • Free Adult XXX Web Site!!!
  • No obligation!
  • You may already be a winner!
  • This product was made in an environmentally friendly manner.
  • I know it’s none of my business…
  • I’m not trying to tell you what to do, but…
  • This should be easy.
  • To speak to a representative, press “9″.
  • It’s nothing personal.
  • This isn’t partisan politics; it’s for the good of the country.
  • I’m not addicted; I can quit smoking any time I want.
  • New and Improved!
  • Trust me.
  • That was special
  • Written June 6th, 2005 by | 2 Comments | Filed under: Miscellaneous Blog Tips

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    There are 2 Comments so far to “Greatest Lies in the World”

    1. Oh goodness this list is just hilarious. The check is in the mail is the most common though but I just hate the ‘make money fast’ that I see in my email day in and day out. It is beyond annoying! Nice post, keep it up!

      Stephanies last blog post…Det at sige farvel

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      Reply by: Blog Bloke at 12:11 pm said...

      Glad you like it Stephanie.

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