Greatest Lies in the World
I thought you might like this list that I stumbled upon (with a few embellishments by yours truly).
The check’s in the mail.
I’m from the government and I’m here to help you.
I thought I already gave you the money I owed you.
But I’ve never been this drunk before.
But I really, really do love you.
You don’t need to use a condom; I’m on the Pill.
I don’t need to use a condom; I’ve had a vasectomy and tested negative for STDs.
We’ll have the repairs on your car done by noon.
Operator, my calling card number is…
You look like you haven’t aged a day.
No, I don’t think that outfit makes you look fat.
This is what it will cost to repair your car.
If elected, I promise…
You’re going to love working here.
I don’t know what you’re talking about.
Nine out of ten people surveyed said…
Please hold, and a customer service representative will be with you shortly.
I’ll only take a minute of your time.
!!Make Money Fast!!
Lose all the weight you want!
I’m being totally unbiased.
I promise I’ll pull out in time.
With all due respect…
For your convenience…
In order to serve you better…
I’m planning to get a divorce so I can marry you.
I’ll call you.
My wife (husband) is okay with me seeing other people; s/he just doesn’t want to know about it.
I’m not leaving you for him/her; I just need some space to think things through.
This will only hurt a little.
This will hurt me more than it does you.
I’m doing this for your own good.
It’s only for a little while…
I didn’t mean any harm.
Oh well, no harm done…
It was an accident.
I didn’t do it.
I don’t know who did it.
We are experiencing a peak level of call volume…
Free Adult XXX Web Site!!!
You may already be a winner!
This product was made in an environmentally friendly manner.
I know it’s none of my business…
I’m not trying to tell you what to do, but…
This should be easy.
To speak to a representative, press “9″.
It’s nothing personal.
This isn’t partisan politics; it’s for the good of the country.
I’m not addicted; I can quit smoking any time I want.
New and Improved!
That was special
Written June 6th, 2005 by | 2 Comments
| Filed under: Miscellaneous Blog Tips
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