Blokes on Parade

By Blog Bloke June 8th, 2005 | 2 Comments Buzz thisBuzz it Share this on Facebook

dBathroomReading1 Blokes on ParadeHere it is. Practical information for all you Blokes who want to fit in (and for you gals who want to know who to avoid). Have you ever wondered how you can tell if a Bloke has been potty trained, how he should dress up or what he should drink? Even if you couldn’t care less read on because, well… it’s funny and that’s the reason you’re here.

What a Bloke should Drink:

  • Beer. Got that? Don’t need it repeated? A brief foray into the spirits field is occasionally tolerated when you need to talk to Uncle Jack Daniels or Great Uncle Jim Beam about how upset you are that someone stacked your holden in the carpark of Taumaranui New World when you were getting the monthly load of Baked Beans and Bog Paper.

    • What a Bloke should NOT Drink:

  • Diet BLOODY ANYTHING!”

  • Designer” Beers. Because you know what designers are don’t you? That’s bloody right - so they’ve probably put dangerous additives that do bad things to your mind.

  • Wine - See the ‘The Blokes Advisor’ for how to avoid this at office-type functions.

  • Anything with fruit in it. If someone at a Wedding Booze-Up offers you a punch, offer him one back, and don’t piss around waiting for an answer..

  • Drinks with Umbrellas, Fruit or Straws in them. If it can’t be put into a handle, it isn’t supposed to be drunk. If it’s got lots of extra shit in it, it’s an ashtray, full stop.

  • Tequila - Remember what happened the last time? The chainsaw, the tin of paint and the outlaw’s garden gnomes? JUST SAY NO! Then say “NO, YA BASTARDS!”
    		•

    This and more hillarious reading can be found at the “The Bloke’s Page“.

    Filed under: Miscellaneous Blog Tips

    Sharing is Caring...

     
    These icons link to social bookmarking sites where readers can share and discover new web pages.
  • TwitThis
  • Facebook
  • GoogleBuzz
  • Digg
  • StumbleUpon
  • del.icio.us
  • FriendFeed
  • Live
  • YahooMyWeb
  • Sphinn
  • LinkedIn
  • Reddit
  • email
    •  Keep in touch with BLOGBloke and don't miss another blog tip:

    Subscribe here to the Better Tips Newsfeed!   

    Follow @BLOGBloke on Twitter for Social Media Tips & News!

            Opinions? (click here to jump to the comments form)

    Ok Blokesters it's your turn to tell me what you think, ask a question or suggest a blog tip. Don't forget the comments policy and I'm looking forward to reading what you have to say.

    2 Comments so far to “Blokes on Parade”

    1. EPIPHANY on Jun 9th, 2005 at 10:11 pm said...

      You ever been to a movie and thought in your heart, “there wasn’t enough swearing, that movie would’ve been really great if there were more swearing!” Well……me neither!

      [ Reply..]

    2. Tyler on Apr 5th, 2009 at 7:52 am said...

      I don’t usually reply to post but this is so good I wanted to say thanks!

      [ Reply..]

    BLOGBloke AvatarAdd A Comment .. your avatar (like mine on the right) will magically appear from your social profiles like Twitter or Gravatar. You can also add a comment to your Twitter or Facebook pages by clicking on the following so-very cool buttons  Share

    Tweet This? Click Here 

    Subscribe to Better Blog Tips and the New Media Newsfeed Subscribe to comments for this post by RSS | TrackBack URL

    You can use these XHTML tags: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>

    Subscribe to Better Blog Tips and the New Media Newsfeed Thanks for dropping by and don't forget to Subscribe to the Better TIPS Newsfeed

    Additional comments powered by BackType

    « Has Blogger turned into a Free Lunch? Carnival of the Vanities »