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Bloke’s Lawyer Jokes

Q: What do you call a thousand lawyers at the bottom of an ocean?
A: A good start!

Q: Whats the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?
A: The bucket.

Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?
A: The vulture waits ’till your dead to rip your heart out.

Q: Whats the difference between an attorney and a lawyer?
A: The name.

Q: How do you keep a lawyer from drowning?
A: Take your foot off his head.

***
Know any more? Then the Bloke wants to hear it!

Written April 13th, 2004 by | 172 Comments | Filed under: Miscellaneous Blog Tips

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There are 172 Comments so far to “Bloke’s Lawyer Jokes”

  1. The thousands lawyer one make me laugh out load…

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  2. Ha! Outstanding.

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  3. Excellent post, I wish I’d have found your blog earlier!

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  4. Hehehe lol!

    check these out:::

    ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
    WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
    ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
    WITNESS: July 18th.
    ATTORNEY: What year?
    WITNESS: Every year.
    ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
    WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
    ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
    WITNESS: Yes.
    ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
    WITNESS: I forget.
    ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
    ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
    WITNESS: He said, “Where am I, Cathy?”
    ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
    WITNESS: My name is Susan.

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  5. Haha a couple of nice jokes to make us laugh

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  6. lol couple of lawyer its so unique never saw before these type of jokes..keep its up mate

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  7. LOL! I love me some lawyer jokes. Not to advertise but I have some more on my site if you like to check it out sometime :)

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  8. awesome site brotha http://bit.ly/1pXPfp

  9. awesome site brotha http://bit.ly/1jshln

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  11. @Gaia Herbs, some look like downtown Las Vegas in the evening. http://bit.ly/2ub7iQ

  12. @CFI, @hospitalera … my head was spinning when I wrote it ;-) http://bit.ly/1CQix9

  13. RT @BLOGBloke: 10 Reasons Why I Don’t Like Your Blog http://bit.ly/2TRLSx

  14. 10 Reasons Why I Don’t Like Your Blog http://bit.ly/2TRLSx

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  20. via @BLOGBloke: Hi There! Thanks for following. Why not ask me a question or for more blog tips visit http://tinyurl.com/5zjajb. Cheers!

  21. @Michelle, you do not need a subdomain for it to work. A subdomain is also a bad idea for SEO. You need to go over … http://bit.ly/5Z3vbE

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  25. @humglum http://www.blogbloke.com/moving-wordpress-blogger/ basically… no. doesnt look like it'll happen.

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  35. @Cdathy Tibbles, I host images on my wordpress.com account. Let me know it goes. I always like to hear from happy c… http://bit.ly/5Z3vbE

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  40. "10 Reasons Why Twitter Is So Popular" ( http://bit.ly/8CM5gX )

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  56. @Wade, like I mentioned earlier in the article the odd link might get changed during the import process into Wordpr… http://bit.ly/5Z3vbE

  57. @John Daniels, not sure if I understand your question. Can you be more specific? http://bit.ly/cjF9ac

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  71. @BLOGBloke, There is no option to park domain! I only have Sub Domain, Redirects and Simple DNS Zone Editor.
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  72. @BLOGBloke, Yes I know the difference. I sent a mail. Lets see if they help me in parking the domain.
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  77. RT @BLOGBlokeTips Migrating-Moving Blogger to Wordpress: The Good, Bad and the Ugly http://bit.ly/1wYXCq

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  82. @5andra > Moving-Migrating from Wordpress to Blogger: The Good, Bad, the Ugly, and How I Did It http://bit.ly/ayW6Af

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  96. Migrating-Moving from Blogger to Wordpress: The Good, Bad and the Ugly http://bit.ly/1wYXCq

  97. Migrating-Redirecting Blogger to Wordpress: The Complete Guide! http://bit.ly/1tGuFi

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  112. The Importance of Linking: Link Long and Prosper! http://www.blogbloke.com/on-importance-of-linking/

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  131. Reading: "8 Twitter Tips to Promote Your Blog"( http://twitthis.com/kynxk3 )

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  160. 10 Reasons Why Twitter Is So Popular http://bit.ly/j6sU1S

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  163. @blogneta @vaspersthegrate I said the same thing many moons ago http://www.blogbloke.com/twitter-grow-up/

  164. "Making Your Blog Search Engine Friendly - http://t.co/QanVLRj

  165. "Making Your Blog Search Engine Friendly - http://t.co/QanVLRj

  166. Migrating-Redirecting Blogger to Wordpress: The Complete Guide! http://bit.ly/nw7j7B

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