Blog Bloke’s Joke for Today

If Microsoft built cars…

Geek at work Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you’d have to buy a new car.

Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you’d have to restart it. For some strange reason, you’d just accept this and carry on.

Occasionally, executing a maneuver would cause your car to stop and fail to restart and you’d have to reinstall the engine. For some strange reason, you’d just accept this this too.

You could only have one person in the car at a time, unless you bought a “Car 97″ or a “Car NT”, but then you’d have to buy more seats.

Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was twice as fast, twice as easy to drive, but it would only run on 5% of the roads.

The Macintosh car owners would get expensive Microsoft upgrades to their cars, which would make their cars run much slower.

The oil, engine, gas and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single “general car default” warning light.

New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.

The airbag system would say, “Are you sure?” before going off.

If you were involved in a crash, you would have no idea what happened.

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Blog Bloke’s Joke for Today

The Washington Post’s Style Invitational asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are some recent winners.

Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly;

Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting lucky;

Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high;

Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it;

Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late;

Hipatitis: Terminal coolness;

Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease;

Glibido: All talk and no action;

Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

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