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Social Subterfuge: A Deceitful Use of Social Media

I was reminded today of a childhood memory about the girly boy who sucker punched me from behind and then ran away. What made me think of that was while doing a little ego-searching on Google I inadvertently discovered a snide comment that someone had made about me behind my back.

(Like all bullies the cowardly lion’s bark is worse than his bite.)

How Girly Boys Abuse Social Media: 

I say “behind my back” because he blocked me on Google Plus and then publicly attacked me there thinking that I wouldn’t find out about it. He knows that I can’t respond even if I wanted to.

.. It’s social subterfuge, a deceitful use of social media and a girly boy favorite.

How convenient. But what he didn’t count on was Google indexing his comment in the search engine results pages.


His comments were personal and below the belt trying to justify his approval for Google Plus kicking me off the network. (I’m betting he’s the troll who got me kicked off in the first place.)

But I guess I got the last laugh because I was gratified to read other commenters who didn’t appreciate his nasty remarks and shot him down.

Talk about shooting yourself in the foot. Or should I say his big mouth.

This person is bitter because I gave him some constructive criticism (in private and on his insistence) that he obviously didn’t like. He was angry and despite apologizing to him and clarifying that it wasn’t personal, he decided to get even by dissing me in public and covering his tracks.

Or at least he tried to cover it up.

How immature can you be. It’s deceitful (to say the least) to try to promote yourself at the expense of an established blogger’s hard-earned reputation, especially if the victim is blindsided by the attack, have their hands tied and can’t defend themself as it was in my case.

What’s even crazier is this person promotes himself as some sort of guru who is expert in all things social including (but not limited) how to deal with “trolls”. Yet he is a troll himself.

What a hypocrite.

This person grossly misrepresented his qualifications and reputation, and even had me fooled for awhile. Adding insult to injury I had even helped him and that’s the thanks I get.

This isn’t the first time that I’ve been stabbed in the back, but it still hurts just the same.

Now I will think twice before I help anyone again.

So is that what Social Media has become? Using Social Networks to BS your qualifications, say hurtful things behind your competition’s back to get ahead, and then try to hide it.

Takes all kinds.

Liars are CowardsLike I always said, anyone has the right to disagree with me. But at least be man enough to confront me face to face (so to speak) and I’ll be more than happy to oblige.

I won’t lower myself to his level or call him out .. at least for now, unless of course he escalates. He knows who he is and I will be watching .. and waiting.

What do you think:

  1. Can you relate?
  2. Is that a good use for Social Media?
  3. Have you been trolled by a girly boy (or cowardly lion)?
  4. Do you have any stories that you can share with us?

I’m all ears.

Written November 28th, 2011 by | 22 Comments | Filed under: Blog Tips, Featured Tips, Social Media Tips , ,

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There are 22 Comments so far to “Social Subterfuge: A Deceitful Use of Social Media”

  1. The closest I have come to understanding even a little about how you feel is when I was asked to help a person, which I did ( against my better judgement) and I worked for quite a while with them, getting to understand the very basics to blogging ( something I have been told that I am fairly good at). This went on for a while and while he would be nice to my face..he seemed to patronize me, but I put up with it. Time moved on and he wanted to learn more on his own and he thanked me…bla bla bla. It was about six months later that I heard that he was telling others that I didn’t know sh*t, that I was wrong on many levels and that he in fact was an expert. I was hurt, but I was also angry and to this day I will not talk to him in any regard.

    Now could I have handled it all differently..sure could have..I could have listened to my own compass..but I didn’t and I consider it a learning curve.

    I have not answers for you…I guess in a way I am quite naive, I still have issues understanding trolls or people who will flame or those who are cowards.

    Is this what social media is all about? In theory and in a perfect world..no, we are told we are to connect, share, develop relationships and so on and so forth. The reality is that social media in many ways is life offline, and we will run afoul of some interesting and at times crazy people.

    Like anything its learning how do deal with it, how to navigate so that we can stay somewhat safe….depends on our life experience and it depends on our personalities.

    What has happened to you has happened to many others..just the names and places are changed …lol to protect the innocent.

    I have no idea what you are going to do..or if you should even do anything…that one is up to you.

    Trolls belong under the bridges and should not be allowed to ruin anyone’s day.


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    Reply by: BLOGBloke at 8:13 pm said...

    @Diane ( Blogneta), it’s bad enough when trolls just badmouth you for the sake of hearing themselves talk. But when these clowns try to exploit your kindness, use social media to hide behind your back and don’t have the guts to confront you directly .. that is what makes my skin crawl.

    Regarding what I’m going to do right now, because these comments were made a couple of months ago I might do nothing .. for now. BUT if the person in question is smart he will lay low and disappear under that “bridge” you are talking about. Because his comments are in fact defamatory and actionable.

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    Reply by: Diane ( Blogneta) at 8:41 pm said...

    @BLOGBloke, There are a couple of situations that I am aware of where similar style things are happening. In one situation I am more watching as a spectator and in the other I have talked to one of the parties involved, but know the other person fairly well.

    What I have noticed and I hope that I can say this properly… after a while it is hard to know who is the victim and who is the “bad guy”, simply because they are both saying things and it can get quite difficult.

    The good news is that the person who is indeed the victim, is getting a lot of support and learning how to talk in a way that will be seen as “better” than the other “side”

    I have noted that whether it is trolling cyberbullying and so many other things..it does help to have support and to deal with things in as rational manner as possible.

    Regardless, it can be sickening when it happens to you and it can erode trust in people if one lets that happen.
    I have been one of the more fortunate people in that I have had people support and help me..I know that you also have people who are there for you..it makes the ugliness a little easier to bear

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    Reply by: BLOGBloke at 8:46 pm said...

    @Diane ( Blogneta), I have already written extensively on dealing with trolls. Which is why I haven’t escalated the issue (yet) by calling him out with a name or link.

    Besides, he’s not worth it and I’m not going to play into his hands and give him any more traffic or notoriety than I already have. After all, that’s what his ultimate goal is.

    Not playing that game. Nope.

    Yes, as you say there are always two sides to a story. As a former litigator and now mediator I probably know this better than most. But it’s not my intention to argue the facts of the case.

    What I am talking about here are the more surreptitious tactics that some are using. I wrote this post to demonstrate from personal experience how trolls/cyberbullies are exploiting social media blocking features to badmouth people behind their back. And that is just plain cowardly and wrong.

    Ironically, Google used examples like this as an argument against pseudonyms. But as we can see trolls come in all sizes, shapes .. or names. And Google Plus features are enabling them.

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  2. The internet in general, and social media in particular, are well suited to drama and trolling. As you suggest, ignoring attacks is the best policy so as to not escalate the level of drama that already exists. Social media should be about making connections with other people, collaborating, and building relationships. While trust can often be betrayed, that is a human problem as old as time. As always, I encourage and support taking the high road, and working toward building positive and mutually beneficial connections and relationships with others. Let those who prefer drama have their say. Their own words will not win them much support, and more likely result in them losing support.

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    Reply by: BLOGBloke at 9:55 am said...

    @Wayne Hurlbert, drama queens, cyberbullies and trolls. Sounds like a hit TV series.

    It’s not always easy to take the high road, especially when they incorporate sleazy tactics. But it’s usually the best policy if you want to avoid escalation.

    In the old says we could deal directly with confrontational idiots. But now we have social media blocking features that enable a more clandestine, underhanded type of troll.

    Well done Google!

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  3. It does hurt when people take help from us and do not return the favor. At least we can count them as positive Karma. But these acts of disparaging others who have helped them seems to be on the rise! Now, people will start thinking twice before helping others because of few guys like that. These things always happen offline, but I have not heard much of it online.

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    Reply by: BLOGBloke at 9:57 am said...

    @Raj, it only takes one or two rotten apples to contaminate the entire barrel so to speak. It’s interesting how the virtual world can reflect the real. Or should I say surreal.

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    Reply by: Diane ( Blogneta) at 6:49 pm said...

    @Raj, The sad reality is that over the last period of time, I have been seeing some pretty terrible things by those “few” people and it has been causing a lot of harm to “many”.

    I think we are all in agreement that taking that high road as Wayne has said or as Blogbloke has said is important, to not give these people more power than they deserves..but it sure is not easy!

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    Reply by: BLOGBloke at 7:00 pm said...

    @Diane ( Blogneta), ain’t that the truth ;-) It’s never easy.

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